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 Park Engineering

 John Park, 32 the Loaning, Motherwell, North Lanarkshire, Strathclyde, Scotland, U.K. ML1 3HE

       mobile 0781 8618547

 "e" mail jpark8@btinternet.com (click on this to send me an "e" mail)
 this web site   www.3d-cad-steelwork.com


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all my comedy stuff.htm




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Glasgow Humour.htm


Gyles Brandreth Witty Quotes.htm


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 Most   embarrassing moments


130 Year old Joke


Recommended Books


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Park Family Tree


Name and Shame


Tekla Models Sceenshots


Tekla Custom Components.htm



 Weekly Rants


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Tekla Structures Hints & Tips


Motherwell Masters Swim Club


Computer and Web Design Hints and tips


British Hospitals - True Stories.........

work of the Bonkle Poet William McCormack "Memories O' Hame" and other poems

the poet among other things Bill Baron Irvine


Model Stair Stringers in Tekla


Forbes Gentleman


Robert Burns's Auld Lang Syne


Tekla Structures hints and tips working in drawings


Tekla Advanced Topics.htm


Tekla all my stuff.htm


Tekla Components my Standard connections.htm


ARC Steel Commercials.htm


Calder Fabrications.htm


James Cowie & Co. Ltd.htm


Craig Engineerig.htm

Weldon Engineerig.htm


Anhop Metalwork.htm


Coda Fabrications.htm

Roof Edge.htm


Mansard Roof.htm


Kenny Ball.htm


Marti Pellow.htm




Kathy Kirby.htm


Billy Fury.htm


Petula Clark.htm


The Eagles.htm


Adam Faith.htm


The Searchers.htm


Bob Dylan.htm


Glasgow Humour.htm


Crosswords, a century of fun..htm


Statins Divide.htm


Cassius Clay.htm


Robert Smillie.htm


Charlie Landsborough.htm




Howard Hughes.htm


Tom Clancy.htm


James Patterson.htm




Belhaven Engineering.htm




Neil Sedaka.htm


Jim Davidson.htm


Buddy Holly.htm


Martin Luther King.htm


Charlie Drake.htm


St Vitus' Dance.htm


The Temptations.htm


Elvis Presley.htm


Billy Connolly.htm


Mrs Brown's Boys.htm


Crooner Kings.htm


Saucy Holiday




Jim Reeves.htm


Jack the Ripper.htm


Ken Dodd




Lionel Richie.htm


Ross Noble.htm


Stan Laurel.htm


Dick Turpin.htm


Chang and Eng Siamese Twins.htm




Waterloo Road.htm


Miranda Hart.htm


Kevin Bridges.htm


Tim Vine.htm


Morecambe and Wise.htm


Ku Klux Klan Jokes.htm


Rugby Jokes.htm


Library Jokes.htm


Miller Steel.htm


Miller  Fabrications.htm


Hoop Ladder jobs.htm


Stand Up Comedy, can it be taught.htm


Wilsontown The first ironworks in Lanarkshire.htm


Knicker Jokes.htm

Soul Legend Percy Sledge dies aged 73.htm

Cliff hits ace dies.htm

Stand by Me star Ben E King, dies at 76.htm

Ruth Rendell, Final Page for a great Author.htm

Charley Pride.htm

Oscar Wilde.htm

Frankie Boyle.htm

Zoe Lyons, ElieTaylor, Sara Pasco, Janey Godley, Susan Calman, Sara Millican, Sandi Toksvig.htm

Tom Jones.htm

The Proclaimers.htm

John Bishop.htm

Tommy Cooper.htm

Ricky Gervais.htm

Val Doonican.htm

Rosa Parks. I Have a Dream by Martin Luther King.htm

Joan Rivers.htm

Benny Hill.htm

Susie McCabe.htm


The funniest man who ever lived..htm


Patsy Cline







Richard Gadd




Weekly Rants 3

Iron Horse Pub

Jason Byrne

Alan Carr

Lenny Bruce 3


Bobby Vee hits Take Good Care Of My Baby and Rubber Doll

Joe Brown recalls when he was bigger than Beatles



peter,manual,the,beast,of,birkenshaw,fails,to avoid,the,noose.com/




Nancy Riach The Lass who won all


What did they do before doing stand up

Hardie vehemently opposed the first world war

bernie keith








Joan Rivers

'She was rude, vain, embarrassing, an incorrigible liar .... and hilariously funny. But to me she was just mother'  Melissa Rivers on life with Joan. Incorrigible means bad and impossible to improve

Joan's tips On being yourself 'Always be yourself unless you're going to be boring on that day, in which case do us a favour and be somebody else'

Are we there yet? Pleease? The five scariest words that came out of my mother's Mouth were, Melissa, get in the car' There were few things more frightening that being in a car when she was behind the wheel -- and that includes skydiving and swimming with sharks.

Joan's tips On Maths 'Melissa, I can do tips and discounts, and figure out the number of gay men in an audience to make a good show. That's all the maths you'll ever need, unless  you're planning on being  an accountant.

I came across Joan at the Royal Concert Hall in Glasgow.  When she first walked on to the stage, she turned and looked behind her and said  'I was in here seeing the manager this afternoon and said to him the first thing I need behind me is an eight piece band. And what does he do? He hires a four piece band and puts f***ing mirrors behind them' And sure enough that's what was there. Joan was the best ever female stand up of all time and I'll always hold her in the highest esteem.

My mother was a terrible driver: How bad? You know sometimes you're driving along the motorway and all of a sudden thousands of cars start slowing down to a crawl and then stop for no apparent reason? She was the reason. She believed that 30 miles per hour was the appropriate speed for anywhere -- the driveway, past schools, fast lane of the motorway. Once, when I was 10 or 11, we were driving slowly in the fast lane  and cars were honking and drivers were rolling down their windows and screaming at us, so I said, Mom, don't you think you should go a little faster? All these people might be in a hurry and have something important to do." She said, "They have something important to do? We all have important things to do. So they're five minutes late."

Funny Foul-mouthed friend for Monarchy

Many assume Prince Charles got his Goons-style sense of humour from his father -- we reckon it was actually his mother to blame writes Craig Campbell. You may find this hard to believe, but there have been strong rumours that one of the Queen's closest friends was Joan Rivers. Charles, in fact, hinted at this closeness when she died saying: "Joan Rivers was an extraordinary woman with with an original and indefatigable sense of humour and an enormous zest for life. Rivers was at Charles and Camilla's wedding, and did a special show to mark his 60th birthday. And, according to those in the know, Joan was often seen having  a laugh with his mother. If she got on with woman as fiery as Joan, who has out ruler actually disliked?. Well, it's said she got out of knighting Mick Jagger, and she felt John Lennon was 'vulgar' -- and was delighted when he sent back his OBE. Finally, not certain what she thought of the late Labour leader  Michael Foot  -- all we know is that she mistook him for Ken Dodd.          

John Park