Park Engineering

 John Park, 32 the Loaning, Motherwell, North Lanarkshire, Strathclyde, Scotland, U.K. ML1 3HE

       mobile 0781 8618547

 "e" mail jpark8@btinternet.com (click on this to send me an "e" mail)
 
 this web site   www.3d-cad-steelwork.com

 

Home / Index

aled,jones,zayn,malik,tring,isobel,calladine

all my comedy stuff.htm

alun,cochrane

cadzow,netherton,raith,m74,herald

dusty,springfield,mari,wilson

PS Autogrinding.htm

Glasgow Humour.htm

stand,up,commedians,ricky,gervais,victoria,wood,jarlath,regan

Gyles Brandreth Witty Quotes.htm

chris,de,burgh,lady,in,red

Chick Murray.htm

 Cad Projects

pen,arse,jokes

 

 Client List

 

Company  Profile

 

 Downloads

lulu,dennison,maurice,gibb,frieda

 My C.V.

 

 Jokes & Cartoons

 

  Favourite links

 

    Frequently Asked  Questions

 

 Hardware and    Software

 

 Customer      Feedback

 

   Printing            Services

 

 Cad Tips

 

 Funny Pictures

 

 Interesting       Stories

 

 Bird Flu Humour

 

 Cheaper Car fuel

 

 Most   embarrassing moments

 

130 Year old Joke

 

Recommended Books

 

Jokes by type

 

Park Family Tree

 

Name and Shame

tekla,21.1,tips,help

Tekla Models Sceenshots

 

Tekla Custom Components.htm

 

 

 Weekly Rants

 

 Terms &            Conditions

 

Tekla Structures Hints & Tips

 

Motherwell Masters Swim Club

 

Computer and Web Design Hints and tips

 

British Hospitals - True Stories.........

work of the Bonkle Poet William McCormack "Memories O' Hame" and other poems

the poet among other things Bill Baron Irvine

 

Model Stair Stringers in Tekla

 

Forbes Gentleman

 

Robert Burns's Auld Lang Syne

 

Tekla Structures hints and tips working in drawings

 

Tekla Advanced Topics.htm

 

Tekla all my stuff.htm

 

Tekla Components my Standard connections.htm

 

ARC Steel Commercials.htm

 

Calder Fabrications.htm

 

James Cowie & Co. Ltd.htm

 

Craig Engineerig.htm

Weldon Engineerig.htm

 

Anhop Metalwork.htm

 

Coda Fabrications.htm

Roof Edge.htm

 

Mansard Roof.htm

 

Kenny Ball.htm

 

Marti Pellow.htm

 

wilbur,smith

 

Kathy Kirby.htm

 

Billy Fury.htm

 

Petula Clark.htm

 

The Eagles.htm

 

Adam Faith.htm

 

The Searchers.htm

 

Bob Dylan.htm

 

Glasgow Humour.htm

 

Crosswords, a century of fun..htm

 

Statins Divide.htm

 

Cassius Clay.htm

 

Robert Smillie.htm

 

Charlie Landsborough.htm

 

Blackpool.htm

 

Howard Hughes.htm

 

Tom Clancy.htm

 

James Patterson.htm

 

ABBA.htm

 

Belhaven Engineering.htm

 

Bismarck.htm

 

Neil Sedaka.htm

 

Jim Davidson.htm

 

Buddy Holly.htm

 

Martin Luther King.htm

 

Charlie Drake.htm

 

St Vitus' Dance.htm

 

The Temptations.htm

 

Elvis Presley.htm

 

Billy Connolly.htm

 

Mrs Brown's Boys.htm

 

Crooner Kings.htm

 

Saucy Holiday

 

Postcards.htm

 

Jim Reeves.htm

 

Jack the Ripper.htm

 

Ken Dodd

 

Motown

 

Lionel Richie.htm

 

Ross Noble.htm

 

Stan Laurel.htm

 

Dick Turpin.htm

 

Chang and Eng Siamese Twins.htm

 

Moby-Dick.htm

 

Waterloo Road.htm

 

Miranda Hart.htm

 

Kevin Bridges.htm

 

Tim Vine.htm

 

Morecambe and Wise.htm

 

Ku Klux Klan Jokes.htm

 

Rugby Jokes.htm

 

Library Jokes.htm

 

Miller Steel.htm

 

Miller  Fabrications.htm

 

Hoop Ladder jobs.htm

 

Stand Up Comedy, can it be taught.htm

 

Wilsontown The first ironworks in Lanarkshire.htm

 

Knicker Jokes.htm

Soul Legend Percy Sledge dies aged 73.htm

Cliff hits ace dies.htm

Stand by Me star Ben E King, dies at 76.htm

Ruth Rendell, Final Page for a great Author.htm

Charley Pride.htm

Oscar Wilde.htm

Frankie Boyle.htm

Zoe Lyons, ElieTaylor, Sara Pasco, Janey Godley, Susan Calman, Sara Millican, Sandi Toksvig.htm

Tom Jones.htm

The Proclaimers.htm

John Bishop.htm

Tommy Cooper.htm

Ricky Gervais.htm

Val Doonican.htm

Rosa Parks. I Have a Dream by Martin Luther King.htm

Joan Rivers.htm

Benny Hill.htm

Susie McCabe.htm

Limmy.htm

The funniest man who ever lived..htm

Philip,Differ

Patsy Cline

engelbert,humperdinck

wilson,pickett,midnight,hour,otis,reading

 

van,morrison,pollock

jim,bowen,binman,teacher,bullseye,oxford,union

fracking

Richard Gadd

billy,joel

Daniel,sloss

james,brown,mafia,feel,good,Adrienne,Rodriguez

Weekly Rants 3

Iron Horse Pub

Jason Byrne

Alan Carr

Lenny Bruce 3

alma,cogan

Bobby Vee hits Take Good Care Of My Baby and Rubber Doll

Joe Brown recalls when he was bigger than Beatles

Leonard,Cohen,82,year,old,singer,dies,in,fall.com/

dale,carnagie,wrote,best,seller,how,to,win,friends,influence,people.com/

peter,manual,the,beast,of,birkenshaw,fails,to avoid,the,noose.com/

bob,monkhouse,one,liners,jokes

blood,pressure,nitric,oxide,around,arteries,dementia,com.

 

 

British Hospitals - True Stories.........



1. A man dashes into the A&E dept. and yells . . 'My wife's going to have her baby in the taxi'.
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her
underwear. Suddenly after protests from the lady I noticed that there were several taxis - - -
and It was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald , St.. Andrews Hosp. Glasgow


2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female
patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,'. I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied
the patient..

Submitted by Dr. Richard Barnes , St.Thomas's Bath


3 One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died
of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her on her mobile
phone reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg Royal London Hosp.


4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment, he told me that he was having trouble
with one of his medications. 'Which one ?'. . .. I asked. 'The patch; the Nurse told me to put
on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!' I had him quickly
undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on
his body! Now, the instructions includes removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk General


5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked 'How long have you been
bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion she answered .'Why, not for about twenty
years - when my husband was still alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Maidenhead Royal Kent


6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man
I asked . . ...' So how was your breakfast this morning?' 'It's very good except for the
Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste.'. . Bob replied. I then asked to see
the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labelled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard J. Brandon . Bristol Infirmary.


7. A nurse was on duty in the A&E when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk
rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . It
was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for
an immediate operation.. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the
staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo
that read . .'Keep off the grass' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short
note on the patient's dressing, which read 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by Staff Nurse RN Elaine Fogerty , KGH London

Dr . wouldn't submit his name